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The current year represents a ten-year milestone since the phrase “disappearing” entered the common lexicon. At the time, the idea that someone could abruptly cease communication with a lover without explanation seemed like the height of indignity. How naive we were. In the 10 years since, navigating toward a partner has only become more perplexing – an oftentimes pointless exercise in embarrassment that is increasingly defined by social media jargon.

Generation Z, a cohort who grew up during a loneliness epidemic, a male identity crisis, and a concerted challenge on the freedoms of females and the queer community, faces a significantly more chaotic landscape than their Gen Y forerunners could ever envision. And so their dating glossary has grown longer and more deranged, with terms like “Ogre-ing” and “monkey branching” straining the boundaries of your sanity.

Below is a detailed glossary to the phrases gen Z is using to talk about romance, intimacy and the search of both. To paraphrase one of the recent most viral memes, by the conclusion of this guide you’ll yearn to get back to God’s country – because where that is, it is free from “ideological catfishing”.

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A

Genuineness – In the view of gen Z, romance's gold standard is presenting as your true, unvarnished self. You'll need it with that!

The Letter B

Avian theory – A TikTok trend connected to a framework developed by relationship scientists, in which you bring up something minor – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and pay attention to whether your partner’s response is inquisitive or disinterested. If they do not want to hear more about the bird, you two are headed for splitsville.

Mysterious girlfriend – Gen Z’s answer to the “manic pixie dream girl” stereotype of the early 2000s – but instead of having short fringe, liking The Smiths and eschewing commitment, the black cat girlfriend puts herself first while radiating enigma and independence. (She might still have baby bangs.)

C

Seat theory – This refers to going for someone who supports you without being asked. If you walked into a room, they would fetch a seat for you to sit down.

Task-based bonding – A outing where two people form a link while handling tasks, such as pet care or grocery shopping. In other words, how financially strained people in their 20s do budget-friendly romance in a inflation-era world.

Melting down – Losing it when you feel burdened by life. You can lose it over a infatuation or breakup, spilling all of your unreciprocated feelings.

D

DINK – Two incomes, no children. Once a marker of 80s yuppie excess, it describes pairs who forgo parenthood to prioritize their own happiness. Or because they find it financially impossible to become parents.

E

Vulnerable signaling – The opposite of playing it cool: embracing dialogue, honesty and openness.

F

Signals

• Danger signals – Personal quirks suggesting a prospective partner is trouble. For instance calling their former partners unstable, poor gratuity habits, a love of Woody Allen films, a new DJ career …
• Good indicators – These quirks validate your decision to pursue a mate. For instance following up to make sure you got home safe after a date, low screen time, owning a bed frame …
• Odd but harmless traits – These typically describe specific, largely inoffensive quirks. Such as being an enthusiastic birdwatcher, still carrying around a biro in their bag, paying rent in physical money …

Freak matching – When you find someone who’s just as enthusiastic about documentaries about the second world war or physical media hoarding or art or whatever it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, finding someone who loathes the same things or individuals that you do (nothing fosters closeness faster than sharing a common enemy).

G

The band Geese – A band a typical Zoomer guy listens to.

Ghostlighting – Someone who reappears into your life after a period of disappearing.

Eager-to-please partner – Someone who is friendly, eager to please and loyal. The uncommon partner who is beloved by all of his partner’s friends, and a black cat girlfriend's counterpart.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A mostly online community of men so obsessed with masturbation that they attempt extended sessions, intentionally delaying orgasm so they can continue as long as possible.

The Letter H

Gloomy heterosexuality – A trend describing many women’s increasing pessimism toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as little surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

High-value woman – An archetype championed by online male influencer figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, nurturing and contentedly domestic, who apparently has no goals of her own aside from pleasing her man partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to grasp the whole “pessimism” thing better?

The Letter I

Turn-offs – Arbitrary and usually everyday turnoffs that instantly extinguish any sense of attraction.

“Actions speak louder" – Something to keep in mind after you watch someone else receive an extremely sweet gesture.

J

Jobs – These have not been this crucial in the dating scene since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “man in finance” is the ideal catch: a fleece-vest-wearing, Republican-coded guy who will provide (there’s a hit TikTok audio on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd opt for partners in professions they believe are being staffed by the more nurturing among us: nurses, teachers or counselors.

K

Kissing – This year, scientists learned that kissing has been around for 16m years. But the era of kissing may be limited since some Zoomers prefer fewer intimate scenes in film, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find onscreen romance realistic.

Kittenfishing – Catfishing-lite. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) photos of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your career sound more impressive than it is. Also known as {